


Tales of Adventure and Daring Do

by nhil



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 17:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 14,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11949132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhil/pseuds/nhil
Summary: The thrilling tales of Taryon Darrington as he began his epic journey to become a heroic adventurer (featuring Vox Machina)





	1. Title Pages

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at de-fictionalising Tary's journal, complete with his warped recollections. Along with abundant 'illustrations' and 'annotations' by Vox Machina.

**Taryon Darrington: Tales of Adventure and Daring Do** – The initial years featuring Vox Machina

_[VM Note: ‘annotated’ by Vox Machina]_

 

Publish by Darrington Manuscripts: ‘Tales you can trust!’

Dictated by: Taryon Darrington

Transcribed by: Doty, Doty 2.0

Illustrations by: Doty, Doty 2.0

* * *

_[VM Foreword: We’ve created a monster. It’s fitting though, that’s the kind of thing we would do. – Vox Machina]_

Dedicated to the selfless sacrifice of Doty

_[Percy’s note: Largely by falling over and then being forgotten and left behind in a different plane]_


	2. Humble Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where our story begins

My lust for adventure began in pages of books much like the one my dear reader is enjoying just now. I knew from those pages filled with glorious fights and heroic endeavours that my fate was that of heroic adventure.

Using the resources available to me, I assembled the best in material aids. Travelling to city of Ank’harel in Marquet with my trusty companion Doty, I sought out able-bodied companions. Unfortunately, the first batch were not quite up to the task. I was compelled to let them go after our first encounter with the fearsome sand-ducks that roam the nearby deserts.

_[Vex’s note: Yeah… they all died and he ran away. Wait… sand-ducks!?]_

Returning to Ank’harel and the tavern that I had hired my less than proficient party, I spied a splendid group of likely candidates. I flagged them done with an offer I knew they could not turn down. The chance to be a party to the fabulous adventures of Taryon Darrington – Legendary Adventurer!

They agreed of course, how could they not? A small retainer was negotiated as they seemed down on their luck and in need of supplies. Whilst I still had many items on my adventuring check list, this group, Vox Machina they informed me, had some small tasks to accomplish and I graciously offered to assist with them. After all, I’m sure they would feature some of the more insignificant items on the checklist.

_[Illustration: Vox Machina, Taryon and Doty in Ank’harel]_

Their first task took us into the tavern where we meet a somewhat shifty looking fellow. They passed what appeared to be a severed hand to the fellow and exchanged a few words. From the prior discussion; as to which member of Vox Machina had the hand in question, I gathered that they kept many body parts on them for just such an occasion. An odd decision I thought,k but seemingly handy -- if you'll forgive the pun -- in the circumstances. Our first deed completed, I reminded Doty to tick off my checklist; the item: ‘collect an item or otherwise perform task as requested by shifty, or otherwise untrustworthy, personage’.

After that unseemly business was concluded, drinks were procured and small-talk began. I noticed four-eyes seemed curious about Doty’s construction and we traded some technical talk. From which I gather he was something of a tinkerer himself, though far out-classed by my own proficiency. We were bonding as a group, and I began to feel a measure of confidence in their abilities -- but still, I was eager to continue this grand adventure.

_[Percy’s note: Levers and pulleys…]_

We moved onto the next task at hand, though it seemed less adventurous and more of playing message-boy. I was becoming somewhat uneasy as the tasks that my new-found friends were proposing seemed to not quite match the deeds they had espoused. I was further troubled that they might not be taking my prowess seriously with talks of auditions and the like.

The message dutifully delivered and another item duly ticked off, we proceeded to travel from Ank’harel to the city of Whitestone via the most wonderful of means -- a portal through a tree. My hopes grew as I directed Doty to mark another item of the list. Though they were somewhat dampened again when the first order of business was another message delivery.

As we travelled towards the castle, Jumbo invited me to a rousing game of Boulder, Parchment, Shears. Lulled into a false sense security, I was attacked from the shadows. It seemed the audition had begun.

I pushed through the pain, knowing that my faithful Doty would protect me. I let loose with a prismatic blast surely to knock my hired companions down a few pegs. But if they would not play fair, I knew I must ward myself with sanctuary to prevent further deviousness.

After a bit of back and forth, despite the odds, I put in such a good showing that they ended the fight. My new friends, dutifully impressed, confided in me their next mission. They would be travelling to the Nine Hells, a place of unparalleled danger and they wanted to be sure of my capabilities.

_[Vax’s note: we nearly killed him and we weren’t even trying]_

_[Illustration: Taryon bravely facing Vox Machina’s assault with Trinket lurking with menace in the background]_

Feeling that my companion’s faith in me was strong, I confided in them that there was a more selfish reason for my adventurous spirit than just my destined fate. My opportunities were to be limited at home, as it was my sisters fate to carry on the family business. It would leave me at somewhat of a loose-end at home, something that I knew would be a waste of my varied talents. It seemed that this was a relatable issue with Vox Machina, these so-called; ‘daddy-issues’. I share this with you, dear reader, as one must consider the human side in all our stories of heroic adventure.

After more bonding and carousing that night the castle (where I gathered that four-eyes and little-elf-girl held some minor position in) the next adventure was discussed. It seemed that some kind of quest, I believe called an Atari, needed to be completed by antlers. We retired for the evening and I dictated further notes and achievements to Doty. For, in the morning, we were to travel to mysterious water-bound lands for her final challenge!

_[Keyleth’s note: uhh, I think you mean Ashari... but it’s Aramenté… I don't even know anymore...]_


	3. Sailing the High Seas…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi-jinks on the high seas! where my true skills began to shine

We began the next stage of the adventure with some confused discussion of methods of travel and where we were actually going. But it was ultimately decided on a detour via some antler's relatives for further guidance. We travelled via this marvellous method of portals and trees, something I gathered was called ‘tree stride’. Antler’s spoke to a leader and conveyed something about dragons, an important element of my list. But I was disappointed to hear that they seemed to be in short supply these days.

After this brief detour, we travelled to the port city of Emon, it seemed a little worse for wear but rebuilding. I was certainly impressed by the industriousness of this city’s people. It should serve as a reminder, my dear reader, that not all of us fated to be great adventurers, and that these lesser jobs deserve due respect as well.

Hiring a vessel (with some unseemly haggling by the little-elf-girl), we began the journey at dusk, eager for adventure.

_[Grog’s note: The dock pretzels were really good]_

_[Illustration: Taryon at the bow of the of the boat in a Titanic pose as they travel into the sunset]_

Several days of uneventful travel, our merry band steeled ourselves for the unknown challenge ahead. But a sudden burst of activity in the crew alerted my keen senses that something was afoot. It was not before long, that trouble became visible, a dense but localised fog. Unable to outrun it, we were soon enveloped. I knew it was time, my first real challenge of my adventuring career. There was just one last thing to find out; be it a sea-monster or… pirates!

I passed Jumbo a prepared coin of flying, after little-elf-boy’s poor incident over-board I knew he might need it! It was at this point that my dear red-head decided to jump overboard as she altered herself to match the new environment. I instantly knew what I must do, she would need an able colleague to assist investigating this dastardly menace.

It was not long before we saw the disturbance in the water, an unnerving void, similar to our ship’s but empty. As we drew closer, the ship finally became visible, it was a dastardly contraption covered in armour plating. It became apparent, we were besieged by pirates! Now was the time to show my new companions the strength of my steel.

We swam up to the ship and attempted to climb aboard, ready to take the fight them. But it wasn’t entirely to be so, my poor red-headed friend didn’t quite have my strength, and feel back into the sea again. But my fears for her safety were unfounded as she surfaced again and shot out a vine of some strength and began to swing towards me. I knew what I had to do and steeled myself to catch this damsel in such a destressing situation. With all my strength, I held on -- mentally making a note for Doty to check off another item.

_[Keyleth’s note: Ok, we do have to give him that one.]_

_[Illustration: Taryon hanging onto the side of the ship holding onto Keyleth with her thorn-whip in a pose per Luke/Leia in Star Wars]_

_[Keyleth’s note: Ok, maybe not then…]_

We hung on the side for a moment before the mysterious splashes we had heard earlier revealed themselves; hideous fish monsters! We could see them crawling up the side to attack with their rapiers. It was but a flesh wound for me, but gave me pause as the red-head climbed on board. It was at this point the sea itself started to rise and bombard the ship itself.

But the perils of my position were not yet over as something exploded just above me. Thank god for boating shoes, I managed to hang on but the devious monster that had struck was less lucky. Good riddance to such an unworthy foe. And with that I swung myself onto the deck, now face to face with another horrid creature. More vines seemed to restrain the creature for now but I had to act fast. I threw an acid vial and relished its sizzling screams. With that I called back to Doty to assure him of my safety and instruct him to free our vessel from the boarding chains I had spied.

Having the opportunity now to check on my friends back on our vessel, I saw four-eyes take one of his contraptions out and attempt something I imagined would have been of unparalleled grandness. But it seemed to go horribly wrong and he feel to the ground. We discussed his proposed action later and I have included a reconstruction, by Doty, to glorify that moment.

_[Illustration: Percy Errol Flynn-ing down to the ship as he lets loose with his guns]_

But I wasn’t done yet, using my Ring of Ram I attacked the abomination, pushing it overside where it exploded into a spray of foam. My mental note to cross that off the list was interrupted suddenly. Curses! my boat shoes had failed me as the force knocked me over the side and back into the sea. Waving out to my friends I was fortuitously clutched from the waters by little-elf-boy whom had apparently sprouted wings.

After depositing me back aboard the vessel my compatriots made quick work of our remaining foes. Though, I’m big enough to admit to feeling a slight unease seeing the robot-bear crush one of their heads in its giant maw.

_[Vex’s note: he looked greener than he had for the entire journey]_

I watched with baited breath for my friends to return as the opposing vessel rapidly sank. But my worry was for nought as all returned safe and sound and with a prisoner to boot! After checking to see if he was still alive, we interrogated him. I was somewhat perplexed as to my friend’s methods, which largely seemed to involve bickering and apologising for being bad people. My suggestions of squeezing and/or pouring acid on him were rebuffed but I deferred to their expertise.

And with that excitement behind us we continued our travels, where-in I passed the time tinkering and creating with my new best friend; four-eyes.


	4. … and the Depths of the Oceans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusing and futile discussions and preparations before encountering a most terrible foe

We made it to city of Vesrah without any further excitement; on the path for this Atari thing of antler’s. The reefs around the city proved too treacherous for our vessel to navigate, and a spirited debate was had as to the best methods to travel onto the city. But, with a combination of brooms, carpets and boats we managed to make it to land.

_[Illustration: Doty and Grog in separate tiny rowboats just off the prow of the ship – complete with male masthead]_

Once there, we met the native’s and introduced ourselves; apparently as ‘good’ people. Their customs were somewhat perplexing as it seemed to involve strange words and antler’s dunking her head into the water repeatedly. But they seemed to understand our purpose and lead us to their leader.

The peoples seemed varied and rugged from life in middle of the sea, some reserved and others curious. After a long conversation between antler’s and the gnomish leader, our purpose in this Atari quest of antler’s became clear. We were to travel to the depths of the ocean, and even beyond!, to seek the mysterious lodestones that these people needed. Not just that, these lodestones were the product of a Kraken! A Kraken we weren’t allowed to kill but still; first pirates and now a sea-monster! At this rate, I would finish my checklist in next to no time! The moment was somewhat tempered by the news that antler’s mother had disappeared on her own Atari, with only a leg to speak of her fate.

Over a less than impressive dinner of fish and less-identifiable things, we conferred over our battle-plan. There was much spirited discussion as to the practicalities of fighting and surviving underwater. We managed to iron-out many of the problems with judicious use of my talents. But we had something of an impasse with my new best friend and his weaponry. That lead to the idea, mooted, of having some members be transformed into sea creatures and provide locomotion for the remainder. I thought it had merit and presented some interesting possibilities.

Unfortunately, further discussions highlighted significant issues with our proposed plans and I began to question my new team’s approach. My trepidation increased somewhat when informed this was more planning than they usually engaged in, and most of their plans failed at the first turn anyway. With that, we settled for a plan of dubious quality and proceeded onto, what my friends had referred to a ‘Hero’s Feast’. It was a most glorious meal of the finest foods and delicacies! After consuming my fill, I felt oddly invigorated and ready for tomorrow’s challenges.

_[Percy’s note: Well, at least he was learning…]_

With that, we retired to our quarters as indicated by our hosts, where a glorious prize awaited us. Our dear hosts had left us some equipment for our task ahead. Just like that, our varied problems had been solved – we could talk and see underwater now! But I would be remiss in my duties as a chronicler of this fantastic adventure not to mention some grumbling about Vox Machina solving problems that didn’t exist. We were also fortunate to avoid a potential embarrassment of being overly visible to the Kraken we hoped to avoid.

_[Grog’s note: He didn’t want to be bait… but he was so shiny!]_

_[Illustration: Taryon with his patched robe sewed around his armour wearing the googles and water-talking band]_

We finally retired for the night, to face our perilous quest in the morning. Before turning in, I requested Doty to note down anything of interest that might happen while I slept. There was so many things happening, I didn’t want to miss a thing!

_[Illustration: Fade to feathers; as Vax carries Kyleth into the sky]_

_[Vax’s note: Awesome!]_

On the morrow, we woke and had a meagre meal before heading towards our destination. My elation from last night’s find was somewhat disheartened as the plan seemed to fall apart again. The discussion seemingly to go around in circles as to who was what and what was needed for whom. We proceeded to a pool where our guide eventually appeared. The realities of the situation becoming apparent, I directed Doty to remain and to record any notable occurrences; weather, animal habits, attempted thefts of personal property.

With our guide and newly acquired equipment, we descended into the depths. Passing through the natural growths of the sea we eventually came upon structures. We encountered several different of the peoples of the city including mer-folk, for which I made a mental note to check another item off the list. I would also note that little-elf-girl seemed somewhat entranced by these folk for reasons not clear.

_[Vex’s note: they were so beautiful!]_

We eventually came to across a temple bearing pillar’s embedded with lightly glowing stones. These must have been the lodestones that we were to retrieve! Three to replenish the magic that held the portal stable. The portal itself crackled with magical energy as it was held between the pillars. We asked some enquiring questions of our guide, and performed some cursory experimentation. Our plan was shaping up! We had some means to detect these lodestones, and I was duly elected to operate the compass to direct our search efforts. With that, we bravely strode through the portal. Onwards to the greatest challenge our adventuring troupe had ever faced –- The Kraken!


	5. To the Abyss and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mighty task, and a mighty battle - fraught with danger and loss and miraculous recovery!

On the other side, we leapt into action, working as a well-oiled machine; we set to the task of locating the lodestones and sweeping for any threats. It was slow going, but stealth was highest priority if we wished to avoid the Kraken! Our efforts were possibly hindered by little-elf-girl’s decision to release her robot-bear. I didn't think an animal, or even robot-bear, could look perplexed but this Trinket seemed to have such expression.

_[Vax’s note: well-oiled might be a bit much, but nobody face-planted which is always a good start]_

_[Vex's note: he's a real bear!]_

As we traversed this alien landscape, we saw some kind of structures, perhaps those of a long-gone civilisation. A puzzle for the ages, but we had a mission! As I expertly indicated to my team the location of the first lodestone, my friends indicated a nearby presence. But we were one done, and I felt certain to be able to cross off ‘steal a treasure from a monster’ item on the list.

Exploring further for the next lodestone, the horrors of the deep were revealed in skeletal remains -– some so alien that even I couldn’t identify them. Despite the horror, I steeled myself to the task at hand. After some fruitless searching, I was certain I had found the next one. Reaching deep into the sand I pulled it out. But it was just another skull -- unnervingly, at the same moment a sense of dread came over me, it seemed the Kraken had found us!

_[Vex’s note: Yeah, he vomited everywhere and then started screaming like a little girl –- but the Kraken magically found us…]_

A dark shadow came over us, and I could barely make out some monstrous tentacles as the water around me filled with lightning. Fortunately, a near blinding light shot forth and embedded itself in the monstrous creature. I could finally see the ten tentacles that would be our biggest obstacle. A garbled voice called out to find the second lodestone; and I knew my goal.

But I was pipped to the post, four-eyes had retrieved the lodestone and past it to me for safe-keeping, whispering to me to find the last one. But it was not to be, the creature lunged forth and a tentacle held me firmly in place. But things appeared to go from bad to worse, as more of my friends become entangled, the beast spit out another spray of lightning. Eventually swallowing the big guy whole, it seemed a dire time.

The battle waged on and on with more bursts of lightning, and tentacles bashing to and fro, all of us helplessly being grappled by tentacles as tried to complete our quest. Vex finally secured the last lodestone but we still had to escape the dreadful creature. My own attempts to free myself were hampered by the cruel creatures grasp but I was awed, through what little I could see in the ink-filled water, by the battle waged by my new acquired friends. Hacking and slashing to free themselves, fiery explosions releasing swallowed members. Memories that will last a life time -– particularly the curious experience of becoming electric eel, slipping through the vile creatures grasp as lightning coursed harmlessly through my body.

_[Keyleth’s note: electric eels were awesome!]_

_[Illustration: Somewhat embellished picture of the kraken's flailing tentacles with eels evading them, friendly shark in background]_

But as incredible to watch as it was, there were many a moment where it could have all been lost. The red-head was downed countless times, but the little-elf-boy seemed to take it worse such that he literally disappeared before my eyes with the red-head and little-elf-girl. I, despite having been freed by the actions of a friendly shark, succumbed late in the fight, only to wake on the other side with my new best friend feeding me a healing elixir.

But the ordeal was not quite over, as I turned to look at the portal I could see the big guy backing out. He was making a curious gesture that I could only assume was a local custom for a ward against evil. But the Kraken was not done, and attempted to get a remaining tentacle through the portal while manoeuvring to peer through with its giant eye. But the big guy was having none of it, and threw his axe directly into the eye. It seemed to wince in pain and retreat as the portal’s attendant adjusted the lodestones, and the portal appeared to contract.

_[Percy’s note: Well, we survived... but on a scale of 1 to useless, I think Taryon and I ended up significantly below it]_

Weary but alive, we returned to the surface to regroup and plan our next move. But it was too good to be true, my friends indicated that we must make haste to the centre of town -– tragedy had befallen us.

Once there, the urgency became apparent, the little-elf-boy appeared dead, as the other seemed desperate for a miracle of some sort to happen. And so it appeared, in the form a gnomish-cleric composed of some form of light -– an astral projection I surmised. It seemed a powerful ritual to raise the little-elf-boy was being performed. I stood back and observed, though no heroic adventurer wishes to die, it is any ever-present risk such that resurrection is always a possibility. It seemed to require some sort of offering from individuals and I gladly stepped forward to offer anything I could. I was gently rebuffed, it seemed something a personal nature was required –- though I was unsure how the big guy beating the little-elf-boy's dead body was that personal.

The ritual was a success though a strange visage appeared before us with mysterious words – could this be? A personal message from a God!? I made another mental note to tick something off the list. After heartfelt words with the recovered little-elf-boy we gave the gathered lodestones to the city’s leader. It was announced a feast will be held to celebrate our, antler’s, success in her Atari. But the fatigue had finally caught up with us and it was time to rest up before the night’s celebrations.

_[Illustration: Vax lifelessly lifted up in the temple in front of the Raven Queen's mask]_


	6. Doty – in Memoriam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A precise observation of several hours on outskirts of Vesrah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of Doty’s noble sacrifice I present his exquisite observations in Vesrah during our epic battle with the Kraken. -– Taryon Darrington, Dashing Adventurer.

_[Illustration: view of sea, sandbars with wave-rider in the distance and 2 seagulls circling]_

8:00am Wind: NW-W 8 knots; Temperature 8⁰C; Humidity: 75% RH  
8:00am 2 seagulls circling ~500m W  
8:03am 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
8:05am Wind: NW-W 8 knots; Temperature 9⁰C; Humidity: 75% RH  
8:10am Wind: W 9 knots; Temperature 9⁰C; Humidity: 75% RH  
8:11am 1 seagull circling ~250m NW  
8:15am Wind: W 9 knots; Temperature 10⁰C; Humidity: 70% RH  
8:20am Wind: NW 10 knots; Temperature 10⁰C; Humidity: 70% RH  
8:25am Wind: NW 10 knots; Temperature 10⁰C; Humidity: 70% RH  
8:29am 2 seagulls landed, pecking at sandbar ~100m SW  
8:30am Wind: NW-N 10 knots; Temperature 11⁰C; Humidity: 70% RH  
8:33am 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
8:35am Wind: NW-N 9 knots; Temperature 11⁰C; Humidity: 70% RH  
8:36am 2 seagulls approaching ~25m SW  
8:38am 2 seagulls pecking at foot ~0m SW  
8:39am 2 seagulls circling overhead ~1m N-NE-E-SE-S-SW-W-NW  
8:40am Wind: N 8 knots; Temperature 12⁰C; Humidity: 70% RH  
8:41am 3 white-ish substances emitted from seagulls landing on head and shoulders  
8:45am Wind: N 8 knots; Temperature 12⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
8:47am 1 seagull landed on shoulder pecking head  
8:48am attempted to remove white-ish substance that was tarnishing shoulder  
8:48am observed 1 seagull lying on ground ~5m E apparently vulnerable to excessive force

_[Illustration: detailed view of crushed seagull on beach]_

_[Percy’s note: Well, I will say he took excellent notes.]_

8:50am Wind: N 8 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
8:55am Wind: N 9 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
9:00am Wind: N 10 knots; Temperature 12⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
9:03am 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
9:05am Wind: N-NE 11 knots; Temperature 12⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
9:10am Wind: N-NE 11 knots; Temperature 11⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
9:15am Wind: NE 11 knots; Temperature 11⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
9:20am Wind: NE 8 knots; Temperature 12⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
9:25am Wind: NE 4 knots; Temperature 12⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
9:30am Wind: E 5 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
9:33am 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
9:35am Wind: E 6 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 65% RH  
9:40am Wind: E 6 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
9:45am Wind: N-NE 6 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
9:50am Wind: NE 6 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
9:55am Wind: NE 6 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
10:00am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
10:03am 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
11:05am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 15⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
10:10am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 15⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
10:15am Wind: N-NE 6 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
10:20am Wind: N-NE 6 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
10:25am Wind: N-NE 6 knots; Temperature 15⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
10:33am 1 wave-rider passing, then approaching ~250m W  
10:30am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
10:35am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
10:37am 1 wave-rider inquiring as to my purpose, nodded  
10:38am 1 wave-rider inquiring as to my requirements, nodded  
10:39am 1 wave-rider leaving shaking head, nodded  
10:40am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 60% RH  
10:45am Wind: E 4 knots; Temperature 13⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
10:50am Wind: E 3 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
10:55am Wind: E 2 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
10:00am Wind: NE 4 knots; Temperature 14⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
11:05am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 15⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
11:10am Wind: NE 5 knots; Temperature 16⁰C; Humidity: 55% RH  
11:14am 1 1 wave-rider passing, then approaching ~250m W  
11:18am 1 wave-rider dropped pile of fish at feet

_[Illustration: detailed view of several dead fish]_

10:39am 1 wave-rider leaving shaking head, nodded  
11:15am Wind: N 5 knots; Temperature 16⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:20am Wind: N 7 knots; Temperature 17⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:22am 1 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
11:25am Wind: N 9 knots; Temperature 18⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:30am Wind: N 13 knots; Temperature 19⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:35am Wind: N 15 knots; Temperature 20⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:40am Wind: N 15 knots; Temperature 20⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:45am Wind: NW-N 10 knots; Temperature 20⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:50am Wind: NW-N 8 knots; Temperature 21⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH  
11:52am 1 1 wave-rider passing ~250m W  
11:55am Wind: W 4 knots; Temperature 22⁰C; Humidity: 50% RH


	7. Victorious Celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the victor goes the spoils and the rightful celebrations

Prior to the evening’s festivities, we took a moment to reflect upon the day’s events. Heartfelt thoughts and gifts were given. My admiration for the leadership skills of the red-head newly restored. It seemed this, Atari thing, was to prove herself worthy of the title: Voice of the Tempest. But not before too long, it was time to feast and celebrate this momentous occasion.

We were joined in celebration by the sturdy crew of our vessel and it was joyous occasion all round. But it was going to be brief, for we would leave at dawn to finally complete antler’s journey. But the night’s wonder did not cease there. The leader of this place bestowed a most curious gift upon the red-head; the ability to morph into most fearsome creatures, many I had hoped to face in battle at some point. But the true highlight was this most wondrous bronze dragon. I instructed Doty to cross another item off the list, for I was in the presence of -- no, had touched a dragon!

For an hour, antlers ferried children, and the big guy, through the air – truly the most generous act of a fearless leader. Before we turned in, the big guy, in recognition of my valiant efforts against the Kraken bestowed upon me a great gift; an egg of power unbridled when consumed. I resolved to keep it safe, a last reserve for the most perilous of occasions.

_[Illustration: Grog riding Keyleth’s dragon form, antlers and all]_

_[Pike’s note: Ahh, he looks so happy.]_

But our new-found companion had one request of me as we scattered to our accommodations. As she had restored our party to full membership, I could not deny her. She requested a favour of Doty, so to that end, I instructed Doty to assist her in any way possible. She requested that he provide portraits of Vox Machina on the morrow, for reasons I was yet to find out.

We woke and regrouped, the gnome’s avatar appeared weak and I knew she wouldn’t be joining us on our return journey. Doty passed onto her the illustrations he had made through-out the night. Leafing through them, I could tell that my gnome friend was impressed with Doty’s excellent realism. She informed me that a formal introduction to my new friends in Vox Machina was needed and asked me to write down their names against the portraits. Doty began to work, but my gnome-friend requested that I perform the duty instead, some gnomish custom I assumed -– and her wish was my command. Taking down the names, her final request was a that I study these illustrations every night so that I would know every facet of my new team -– a request I could not deny.

With that, her form finally faded and we preceded on to an uneventful journey back to the city of Emon. It seemed some research was required before the next task ahead of us –- to deal with this thing called Hotis, or maybe Orcus, our discussions -- as I was beginning to realise -- tended to the circular.

_[Illustrations: as per the transcript, Grog’s appears to have had more pages taped along the bottom but have been torn off at some point]_

_[Pike’s note: For. The. Love. Of. Sarenrae. I’m so sorry, this is all my fault…]_


	8. Research and Resources

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where-in lose-ends are resolved and preparations are made for the next hell...

Once returned to Emon, we fairly compensated our crew for their sterling efforts. We preceded through the recovering city, picking up Pike along the way. I impressed the gnome with my mastery of my fellow companion’s names -– I gather she was duly impressed by the surprised look on her face. But it was I, who was to be surprised next.

_[Pike’s note: He might not be a complete idiot, but remembering people’s names is something even Grog's mastered… Sorry Grog!]_

We travelled to a large, respectable structure, though in somewhat of a dilapidated state. My companions informed me that this was their base of operations: Greyskull Keep! Not even that -- it was just a summer keep. I was beginning to suspect my friends had more means than had been letting on. Unable to not offer my sterling insight into its deficiencies, there was some grumbling about Dragons or the like – I put it to no mind, after all I was helping.

_[Illustration: Greyskull Keep in some disrepair]_

We proceeded to the library in the keep, hoping to glean knowledge on any weakness or other useful information of our future foes. Unfortunately, our research was somewhat delayed by Percy’s lack of glasses and another circular discussion about who should read what. Such was the nature of the discussion, that I think we didn’t quite achieve our goal. But we knew that we must travel further onwards on the morrow, with an evil tome to dispose of, and other places of esoteric information to plunder.

We gathered for breakfast and discussed our future plans in the manner that we do. With a few diversions related to staff and their compensation, not to mention Vox Machina fighting songs –- which, I must admit, I was distracted by the endless possibilities of my own personal triumphant refrain. But we returned to the task at hand; on the one, we need more research -- on the other, we had to return to Keyleth’s to complete her quest. After even more ‘discussion’, it was determined that we travel to Vassalheim for research and to procure the appropriate garments for Keyleth’s special day.

Unfortunately, our plan required a minor diversion as Vassalheim frowned on arcane magic, so Doty would have to be hidden in some manner. Ahh, a disguise of some kind was needed! We all pitched and crafted a fine disguise; only slightly marred by the accidental application of hair before mask, so it was a bit – tufty.

_[Illustration: Doty’s ‘disguise’]_

_[Percy’s note: The hair’s all on you… it was more of an abomination than ‘tufty’.]_

And with that sorted, we travelled onto Vassalheim for the next leg of our journey. It was decided, with unusual decisiveness I must say, to split up and cover more ground. As the others went their separate ways, Grog and I were tasked with procuring supplies.

I inquired as to Grog’s proficiency in the art of haggling, and it was determined that I was to be his tutor. But we were rudely interrupted by some churlish guards asking of our business. I felt my deception to be quite impressive and we proceeded on. But once we arrived, it seemed like the guards had been even more devious than I. We left Doty outside to keep an eye on them before we entered the establishment.

Though the shop-keeper seemed intimated by Grog’s presence, he managed to calm the shop-keeper, who appeared to be muttering about some dragon-lady. We inspected his goods but found the offering meagre. But at Grog’s suggestion, I procured a selection of healing potions as a welcome to Vox Machina gift for my new-found friends. The shop-keeper drove a hard bargain, but between Grog and I, we secured a fair price and exchange –- I was sorry to lose Grog’s gift of the powerful egg, but he seemed to take pride in my haggling skills.

_[Vex’s note: Well, the egg was a joke -- so it wasn't that bad...]_

Our business nearly concluded, we were interrupted by some loud metallic noises. Fearing the worst, we steeled ourselves for what my come through the door. My relief at seeing Doty was short-lived, he was carrying the two guards, now unconscious. I deferred to my large companion, as this was not a situation I was prepared for, in retrospect that might have been a poor choice. We made our best efforts to disguise the guards, and made a hasty exit with our purchases. We resolved to retire to inn and await our other companions.

_[Illustration: Interior of shop with two less than healthy guards, covered in alcohol]_

_[Grog’s note: Gods, how hard is it to vomit on command!?]_

After some confusion as to our various locales and successes, we all met up for some hearty refreshments. While the group was appreciative of my gifts, there was some minor disappointment in regards to our run-in with the law. Which we resolved in favour of removing Doty’s beautiful disguise, such that he might not be recognised. After which, we drank, ate and made merry –- I even got to sing my fight song! At the end of the night, we resolved to finish our errands in the morning, and then onto finish Keyleth’s rite of passage.

_[Vex’s note: we thought you killed the damn guards!]_

We travelled onto Keyleth’s homelands in the morning. A somewhat wind-swept place, but not without its charms. The ceremony was a glorious affair with rousing, nay, inspiring speeches. It culminated in the figurative crowning of Keyleth with an exquisite mantle that matched her striking figure. I was awe-struck, and touched when she mentioned all the help that I had provided on her quest to become; the Voice of the Tempest.

_[Illustration: Keyleth accepting the mantle]_

After another celebratory feast, we retired to discuss the next step of journey. Apparently to the City of Dis in the Nine Hells, it wasn’t entirely clear as the City of Brass was mentioned several times. My readings had not really covered such things in detail, so I was at lose as to who this Hotis fellow was or what a rakshasas was and the like. It took a long time, and in the usual fashion but ably guided by a very drunk Grog, but we got there in the end.

The following morning the conversation began again in regard to disguises and languages. An attempt was made to engage a teifling woman to learn a few words – despite my unfamiliarity with the language I don’t think the effort was entirely successful. That done, there was only thing left – onto the City of Dis -- or Brass.

_[Grog’s note: yeah, that was a big waste of time.]_


	9. Dis Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burning heat, ne'er-do-wells, and impossible contracts

This was a wholly new experience, we all held hands and Keyleth transported us to the Nine Hells. I could feel myself flying through... something and passing a glorious construction -- a divine gate if you will. We found ourselves in a dark alley, uncomfortably hot with simple stone-like buildings. There was a creepy tower that dominated the sky, disconcertingly it appeared in every direction I looked. Per our prior discussion, we transformed ourselves into a variety of differently hued tieflings, ably assisted with my ample supply of enchanted coins. We were prepared for anything! so we set forth to find an inn or marketplace to pursue our quest.

_[Illustration: The city of Dis with the imposing tower looming]_

We wandered around attempting to find any indication of our destination. Attempts at asking for direction turned out be futile, so we resolved to head towards the tower. But no matter how far we went, it never seemed to get closer. During this time, I took in the hellish denizens of this place. It was certainly unlike anything I had read about. In the back of mind there was excitement at the prospect of being the first to describe such undiscovered lands.

_[Percy’s note: You... you read my notes... the one's I made researching this place...]_

After what seemed like ages, and some piffling efforts from my companions to engage the locals, we eventually stumbled upon an inn. It was decided that Grog would serve well as look-out and I directed Doty to follow him. We entered into, what could only be described as a hellish version of a normal tavern patronised by unsavoury denizens of the devilish type consuming things, that I would rather not think about. I steeled myself and my stomach for this ordeal.

_[Vex’s note: Well, I didn’t see you do anything help did I?]_

We managed to procure lodgings for our stay, as we were slyly observed by what we can only assume was the owner the establishment. After paying the requisite fee to the man -- thing -- behind the bar, we were handed some keys, and a selection of what I could only imagine were complementary treats. Keyleth took one, exclaiming how they were a delicacy of her people and acknowledged their excellence upon trying one. With that kind of recommendation, how could I refuse? I took one, it was an exhilarating feeling and I knew I must have more. In the end, I was able to procure about 20 for a fair price -- a shrewd investment I was sure.

We retired to a room to plan our next move. Keyleth seemed oddly buoyant, jumping up and down on the bed. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I think she might have been flirting with me. But I was not surprised, with my glowing locks and evident power I must be hard to resist. But it was time to identify these rocks I had procured. Unfortunately, they appeared to be slivers of souls –- I consoled the group with the knowledge that they were probably bad people. Even then, it was a bit disquieting to the stomach.

_[Percy’s note: Unfortunately, I would have to agree, even for me, they were a bit much…]_

But we needed to move things along, after an inspiring speech from Keyleth about my many sterling qualities (my prior perceptions validated!), we decided to let Grog and Percy handle further inquiries. After a while, my friends returned with what little they gathered. We had an opportunity but it carried a heavy risk, a deal with the devil no less!

The plan was quid pro quo, to get to this Hotis person, we would need to go to prison. To get to prison we needed to kill something else. We had defeated a Kraken, a piddly demon seemed like nothing to me. There seemed to be a split about the proposed action, so Keyleth left to determine if we could locate our end target via other means.

Unfortunately, it appeared her excursion was cut short as she relayed to us on her return. She was waylaid by two fellows with intentions for Vax. With her intimidating prowess, she skilfully turned them from their course, but returned not willing to risk further encounters. We took the proposal to a vote, that curiously was decided between Doty and Vex’s robot-bear. Despite the rampant cheating it was decided to take the day and avoid the contract if we could at all.

_[Vex’s note: Hah, Trinket peed on you -- see he’s a real bear!]_

_[Illustration: Trinket somewhat uncomfortably close to Taryon licking his face as steam rises from the floor and his leg]_

We left our rooms, in the hopes of finding another option. On our way, our contact provided more extant details on the contract, but we stood by our decision and left the inn. Stopping by a shop, we procured several items but no information of use, the task seemingly fruitless we returned once again. It seemed that we were destined to complete the contract, and with a few key alterations (of which I contributed somewhat), the deal was done. Though I bravely offered to risk my soul for the team, Percy’s greater experience won out and signed it. And with that, the next step was clear as the imp Vasa appeared to guide us.

_[Percy’s note: I don’t think attempting to shoe-horn a distribution deal into it, counts as a contribution…]_


	10. Daring, Doors, and Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With nothing but our singular goal, we cut a swathe through this hell. Nothing could stop us; be they maidens, doors, or disgusting fiends.

Deciding to rest before embarking on this dark task, we retired to our rooms to sleep as best we could. In the morning, we settled down to a less than stellar meal of what I could only describe as stale meat. But one must take what one can in this adventuring business. Tactics was once again on the board, with various transformations mooted. In the end, we opted to approach our target stealthily, with aid of our guide Vasa.

Despite a close call mid-way through, skilfully averted, with my judicious use of a tar-bag, we managed to find our way to the target’s abode. Our first order of business was to pass through the iron bars separating us from the structure. Though the rest of us were lithe enough to fit, Doty, Grog and Trinket would not. I have to say I was impressed with Vex’s ingenuity in using her neck-lace device to transport Trinket and Grog across. Unfortunately, it would not work on my dear Doty. But this mere fence was no match for my Doty as he strolled through it, though some effort was required to ensure that our infiltration would not be noticed.

_[Vex’s note: While I appreciate the compliment, I don’t think tearing a hole in fence and then attempting to fix it counts as stealthy.]_

_[Illustration: Doty with a Doty shaped hole in the fence in the background]_

Once again, we were faced with another obstacle; the only observable opening was tiny and high-up. But I had this in hand, as I confidently pulled out my magic door and placed it against the wall. My friends were suitably impressed as I recalled snippets of conversation suggesting doors being something a problem in the past.

Once inside, we discovered a nightmarish workshop. After further investigation, we found it’s true purpose a torture chamber! But the horrors didn’t end, it was occupied. I intrepidly checked to see if this person was still alive. On positive confirmation and conferring with the group, we asked her to ally with us in this monstrous place. In my haste, I forget to ensure that we introduced selves first, but it seemed of no matter. Our new friend Tova seemed wary at first, but on hearing that we intended kill something she was more than happy to assist.

After some light preparation to ensure that Tova would be up to the challenge we proceeded. But our attempts to infiltrate without notice wouldn’t last much longer. As we fought the denizens of this accursed place, Tova proved her worth as we discovered her to be -– a were-bear! Trinket and Vex seemed overly enthused by this development.

_[Vex’s note: Well… Trinket doesn’t get out much… with his own kind and all…]_

After a hard though battle with many displays of bravery and finesse, I dispatched the final foe using my precision lancing skills -- with a flaming blow between the goliath and the bear. The finale was upon us, as Keyleth informed us that we found our prey; Utugash lay in the next chamber.

Leading the charge, we headed onwards to the ghastly monster. I gallantly let Grog take the lead whom narrowly avoided a devious trap of boiling oil. It was a hard-fought battle with attacks flying thick and fast. But some extraordinary feats were witnessed, including a poor bear trapped by a torturous cage and another one -- bear, not a cage -- apparently freeing my dear Keyleth, trapped in a window of my own design, as it rushed past to attack.

But things seemed dire when a shield of flame engulfed the monstrosity, but I knew I had to take the lead on this, despite this terrible obstacle. Charging through the flames, I stabbed with my mighty lance wounding the gargantuan gravely, calling to my faithful companion, I shouted above the din: “On me, Doty!”. Loyal to a fault he braved the hell-fire but it was in vain, he fell reaching out to me, as the few red hairs that remained of his disguise began to singe in the fires.

But hope springs eternal and a torrent of water crashed through the flaming wall! My hope that this cursed flame would be extinguished was dashed, just like my poor Doty. The flame raised itself again, my own solace was the visage of a fiery mad-man of a goliath attacking with reckless abandon. We seemed so close, but my attempts to put it down were in vain, I couldn’t quite land the killing blow. I stood as long as I could, but eventually succumbed as my poor friend Doty had.

_[Illustration: Doty struggling to reach his master through the wall of flame, hairs starting to singe as the flaws curl around him -- anachronistically saying: 'Tary...']_

I would be remiss not to highlight my compatriot’s feats while I was enduring hand-to-hand combat, as relayed to me later. Starting with Grog’s impressive feat of strength rending his newly acquired helmet trap that had ensnared Trinket earlier. But, alas, I was not able to bear witness to the finale, engaged as my friends desperately tried to reach me. I was informed of giant fire force erupting and the knocking the fiend back and down -- only for an enraged bear sliding from under it clawing all the way. Like a cannon-ball, it launched itself at the beast’s throat, tearing and eviscerating till there was nothing more. The battle was finally won, with only a small matter of a slight miscommunication vis-a-vis my Keyleth's new fire-engulfed form.


	11. New Friends and Old Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deals done and prisons traversed, we took flight to lay waste a terrible foe despite our dwindling odds

Utugash was dispatched, the terms of the deal completed, but we still had more questions. How would Ipkesh fulfil his end of the bargain? More pressing was the story of our new friend? From our conversations as we explored our surroundings I gathered that she was a fellow adventurer. Unfortunately, her party was broken with losses, and she was finally dragged here against her will. I’m sure she was eternally grateful for intervention and relished the chance to be part of our illustrious troupe.

But this peace lasted only momentarily, despite my best efforts -– aided by my best friend Percy –- I was unable to restore Doty before we were beset. A mass of creatures dropped through a hidden hole in the roof, some bearing the golden armour of the feared Whisperers. They offered us an ultimatum; resist or surrender. Despite my concern for Doty, and our obviously superior force, I knew this was part of the plan and willing submitted.

We we’re restrained and manacled, all according to plan despite some misguided attempts to evade capture. As we were dragged away, there was a twinge of sadness, our attempts to cajole them into bringing Doty along fell on deaf ears. The last sight of my oldest friend was his components being ripped asunder. I only wish that his replacement would have as much meaning to me as he did.

_[Percy’s note: I mean; it was a magically infused machine. But that’s kind of harsh, even for me…]_

We were dragged through the streets a spectacle for other denizens of this cursed place. But I knew it was all a ruse, that the plan was being executed to perfection. But then I beheld the visage of our supposed new home. The look on Tova’s face said it all, a flicker of doubt clouded my heart. If this were to go wrong now… well, it would be a truly heroic feat to escape!

But those horror's were nothing, as we were seemingly lead deeper into this hell-hole, assaulted on all signs by torment souls. Strung up by a demon composed of chains, it molested us all in the most violating of manners. But saviour of all saviours, it was called away before denuding me! Jubilations more so! Our help had arrived with our possessions unmolested and directions to our destination, the game was still afoot!

There was still the small matter of our chains, but my companions excelled themselves once again. The little-elves acted as one to free themselves and the rest of us, like the well-oiled machine I had always envisaged. Still we had one last obstacle, the door between us and our precious possessions. The seeming bane of Vox Machina reared its head, a door, but our resident big-guy, Grog, was up to the job and destroyed such a piffling obstacle.

_[Grog’s note: That was super boss!]_

But our machine hit a snag as another discussion descended into the pros and cons of various manifest forms as our quarry slipped away. But eventually our purpose coalesced, we would swarm them as bats! This might be hell, but we would escape like bats!

_[Percy’s note: I’m not sure… but I have this burning headache reading that last line, as if the entire cosmos was groaning…]_

And like that, the machine was back in action, as one -- we darted through the maze-like prison, flitting between foes and passing through illusions -– only to pause and empty our bowels as the situation required. Our mad dash to our ultimate goal was interrupted by some pesky fiends. Barely escaping, our destiny was within grasp, but our druidic saviour fell and so a new trial began.

But nothing could stop this Vox Machina steam roller! Keyleth, my queen, so quickly revived, I gave her the dearest gift I could give, Sanctuary from all heathen things. My best friend, after my recently passed Doty of course, Percy decimated two of our pursuers with his magnificent weaponry. Fortitude granted my large friend the ability to destroy the last remaining foe, as I afforded us small respite with a minor illusion, so as to dissuade any intruders from inquiring further into the kerfuffle we had created.

_[Vex’s note: Well, to be fair, this is the first… well, only time he has every actually helped someone else…]_

But our trials were not over, we found ourselves at the final point. Four choices to destroy our target. But what to choose? As we dashed hither and thither to find it, a behemoth arose comprised of chains! But my quick thinking gave us the upper hand, the beast failed to hit our key; Keyleth! As she selflessly healed the worst for wear of us, it’s destructive action revealed our goal. The big-man himself strode forth and crushed this Hotis creature with his bare hands.

Knowing that victory was within our grasp we withdraw towards our fearless leader, ready to return to a safer plane. But Tova had unfinished business and could not be swayed, so I gifted her what little I had left; a coin of invisibility. My trust was repaid as her invisible form dragged Vex towards me. It was up to me and I reached across to complete the circle. From that moment; I vowed Tova’s sacrifice should not be forgotten and will be written about for aeons to come.

_[Vex’s note: Well, uh, your’s last 10 minutes, my ring lasts for an hour…]_

With the circle complete, we moved through that lovely void that seemed so far away yet so instantly familiar. We moved past my Divine Gate and back on to our home!


	12. Time to Reflect

Despite our sudden appearance, the people of this city were welcoming -- maybe not the bear, it seemed a little sketchy, truth be told. We drank a toast to our successes, seemingly harder earned than that of the Kraken! But also to our fallen comrade, Doty, a true friend as any -- as they all seem to recognise. I read a passage from his latest entry and lamented his passing. But no, this was not the time for lament, it was a time for true adventurers to celebrate life, even if, just for those that have it no more!

_[Percy’s note: Oh…. Wow… That’s… That’s something special…]_

My friends couldn’t agree more; women, wine and song is all that they could talk about. It was but a small part of the adventuring spirit, so I engaged with all the energy I could muster. As we moved onwards to our destination we were waylaid by urchins and farm-folk. My companions seemingly paying them some consideration as we moved on. Fortune’s favour shined on us, as our absent friend, Pike chanced upon us. We entreated her to join us in our celebration over our victory against the Nine Hells!

Our travels brought us to a seemingly reputable tavern, adorned with the appropriate signage. I was impressed by its interior, it had all the appropriate marks of a fine establishment; clean solid tables, trophies on the walls, and best of all a selection of fine wines. Rounds of varied drinks were ordered and brought over, as we reminisced and filled in our absent friend. But it couldn’t be a true night out if there wasn’t a friendly wager! Grog, my best biggest friend challenged me to the affections to one the of the wench’s servicing this establishment. How could I refuse?

_[Pike’s note: Grog… Grog was just messing with you; how could you not see that!? Somehow, I feel responsible for this…]_

There was some playful back and forth exchanged, but I was clearly in the lead. In amidst discussions about our adventures, there was some debates about rods and jugs; it was just small wager I was sure to win, so I paid it no mind. It seemed perilously close for a moment, but the game was still on. My friends were happy to oblige with tips and I worked my charms that had so betwixted my red-headed ally.

But the game came to naught, neither of us won the lady's favour, but my friend graciously agreed that I had bested him. I made a mental note for the checklist; besting a goliath to point of making him cry uncle. But the night wasn’t over, and my friends didn’t think it was over till a bedded a maiden, a tradition that our, barbarian and dear former member, seemed to think an important part of the job. Despite my trepidations, I knew this was integral to being an adventurer, something to be endured if needs must.

_[Grog’s note: What?]_

_Rogue or ranger, taco or hot dog_

Despite some outlandish discussions as to the predilections of rogues vis a vie rangers and their tastes in regards to exotic foods; such as tacos and hot dogs -- we turned to the more distasteful discussion of procured carnal pleasures. But these were my friends, and I professed my ignorance and they offered what support they could. Thankfully, we were interrupted by a new server, who offered more refreshments. Somewhat short lived, I say in retrospect. Her intent became apparent, as I was dragged away to the rooms above. I knew this was rite of passage for all adventurers -– but things seemed not entirely right.

After a night of… somewhat fitful, sleep I returned to my companions who numbered only just the passed out Grog and Pike. Ordering coffee, it seemed need, I awoke them as gently as I possibly could. I knew that another adventure awaited. Though the experience was integral to my journey, the jarring nature of it all left me somewhat at a of a loss of words.

_[Grog’s notes: He puked a bit, I don’t think he was happy.]_

 It seemed that we were all at a loose end, as I was. I had no obvious tasks for my illustrious talents. Mistress Vex had the lonely task of the grey hunt to which I was barred from assisting. My dear Keyleth was endeavouring to commune with her people and other tribes (I had recently learnt there were different types based on the elements, how could you know!?). Percy had retreated into his castle, a noble I had only learnt of, that I dishonoured by my prior lack of respect in regards to his actual title.


	13. Time to… Begin, Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to reflect, rebuild, and look to the future... at the beach!

The trials and tribulations of the past year were monumental, but we moved past them. We faced many foes; monstrous and abominable creatures. But we grew closer, but tedium is the worst foe of an intrepid adventurer. Stuck without a clear goal, I made the best of this situation. Utilising my exquisite culinary skills, I, with assistance from Vex, Keyleth and Pike, established a small bakery. Curiously named the Slayer’s Cake, but who was I to question their predilections? We had moderate success, and with it came moderate earnings. Knowing that adventuring was a young man’s game, I was comforted that I had something else to fall back on.

Throughout the year we kept in touch, assisting each other as best we could. Not even the wild success of our bakery could occupy my time. I continued to tinker and build with my best friend Percy; we made a fine white dragon scale armour for the radiant Vex, but my shining achievement was... Doty 2.0. Percy and I made a few minor improvements to further his adventuring prowess; such as some limited speech and a hand… cannon… of a sort -– sure to offer a rival to Percy for explosive potential.

_[Percy’s note: He says ‘Tary’… just, ‘Tary’…]_

But that was then, now it was time for a well-earned vacation. Marquet seemed ideal for this time of the year and we re-grouped and travelled to that far away land. We eventually ended up in the resort town of Shamal. With the expert haggling skills of Vex, assisted by Pike, we procured a bargain on our rooms – so, on to the vacation!

We unwound at the beach with many jovial games and activities to be had. Grog and I built sand castles! But from my expert deductions I had spied that Grog and Vax were deep into a prank caper – Something I was sure I would be welcome to indulge in! I conspired with Vax for the next step, passing him an extra special gift.

_[Grog’s note: Doty kept knocking the sand castle’s over –- Sad Grog.]_

_[Illustration: Grog tripping over a sand castle]_

_[Vax's note: It took a long time for Tary's revenge -- but it was epic... I'm a bit sad he missed it.]_

All fun and games, but the sun was burning down and I was compelled to enrobe -– but horrors! Doty 2.0 was unable to furnish my garments. Vax helpfully informed me that Percy had hidden my clothes -– obviously another jape. But I could give as well as I well as receive. Two dogs seemed to be the perfect jovial revenge, as I retrieved my belongings.

My playful prank had its intended effect though, perhaps not the right recipient. Vex seemed none too pleased, and laid into Grog and then Vax, for the tornado of destruction that was her room. But the sight of Trinket mauling Vex seemed to make it all worth it. But then it back-fired, Vex – under some duress I might add -- though, tempered as Vex was inducted into Trinket’s inner circle with the ceremonial act of relief -- admitted to his nefarious part in the jape and implied my own role. But Doty 2.0’s able assistance calmed the situation, all in all, a wonderful excursion in jocularity.

_[Vex’s note: Word’s cannot describe my fury!]_

_[Percy’s note: Possessions be damned, I must admit, it was worth it to see Vex’s expression…]_

_[Illustration: Two mastiff’s sleeping on the bed surrounded by a the barest semblance of a room]_

With some soothing words to the management of this fine establishment, all was forgiven and the rest of our time uneventful. But all things must end and we returned to Whitestone, perhaps to find another adventure? But it wasn’t adventure that awaited us -- unexpected visitors for a close friend!


	14. The Trials of Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we learn that family may not be what we think they are...

Our surprise guests were none-other than relatives of Pike! The ever gratuitous host, I provided the utmost in hospitality but they had surprising news. Visions of the dark family curse that was circling our dear, pure Pike. Such a thing was unimaginable, but how could we not trust them?

As we entertained our guests, I learnt that Grog was titled. The Grand Poobah de Doink of all of Dis and Dat -- I never knew I was in such illustrious company! As such, he provided a tour of this grand city dressed in his finest accoutrements. But I digress, this terrible news, conveyed over an opulent feast, was accompanied by hopeful news. There was a ritual that could be performed; something that may cleanse Pike of this terrible affliction.

_[Illustration: Grog in his ‘finery’ ill-fitting hat and all]_

As her closest friends, we knew that we could not let her go alone and resolved to assist her as best we could. Located in the wind-swept cliffs near Whitestone we began the preparations. Some trifles, of middling value, were offered and then we began –- but a horrible creature apparated itself out of our dear little Pike.

We all fought valiantly to destroy the beast that was trying to claim our friend. But it’s defences seemed too great -– curiously variable, as I could discern no reason as to what forms it was susceptible to or those it was resistant to otherwise. But it was long before the secret was revealed! It was an illusion –- a con -– and Vox Machina swept into action to apprehend the deceivers.

Pike’s, admittedly unseemly, family reputation had reared its ugly head again. They were trying to extract things of value from her… from us. Using our considerable talents, though, perhaps a bit too much when at a cliff’s edge -- dangling gnomes over a cliff isn't something I'm familiar with from my heroic research --, we extracted the full story. They resented her success, compared against their own meagre attempts to scrape by. Her succinct ultimate; to never darken our door given, it seemed that this chapter of Pike’s life had been slammed closed.

Once again, I would be remiss to mention a sight that Doty 2.0 witnessed, but relayed to me later. That of my dear Keyleth proclaiming Godliness and bravely jumping over the cliffs to retrieve the diamond that we had kindly donated. In retrospect, it seemed a tad unnecessary given our riches. But down she dove, with the misfortune to not strike the water in her glorious gold-fish form, but the rocks. I was further informed that Vex valiantly saved her despite lose of the diamond.

_[Illustration: Wide-eyed gold-fish inches from the rocks with tiny antlers]_

_[Keyleth’s note: Well… it could have been, you know, awesome!]_

_[Percy’s note: Mental note: check for bloodstains later – this has to be recorded in the Annals’ of Whitestone.]_

We returned to Whitestone, disappointed, but triumphant. Pike, a little subdued –- perhaps haunted by the sins of her family. Stopping by the Slayer’s Cake we had a chance encounter -– a mature woman seeking employment. Her tale, a sad one, but her creations exquisite -- we could not but help us selves to offer her employ and hope. Though my companions held some suspicions and quietly investigated, I knew this Hilda person to be trustworthy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes... gratuitous was a deliberate choice; sometimes the words exceed his grasp of them -- not that I would know anything about it...


	15. ... and the Tribulations of Obligation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where little sins seemingly grow into gargantuan ones....

We retired to the castle for the night, seemingly exhausted I retired early. But my respite was to be interrupted -– waylaid and undone by my trusting nature! Hilda was not as she seemed -– an impoverished woman of a kindly nature -– she was some kind dark elf with dastardly intents upon me. Alas, with Doty 2.0 seemingly incapacitated and the advantages of surprise, I was unable to muster a full defence. She overpowered me, and I succumbed to a dark sleep.

_[Illustration: Doty deactivated and Tary unconscious in a bag dragged by the drow Hilda]_

Finally awakening, I was tightly bound and unceremoniously carried on the rear of horse racing to a destination I knew not of. Inquiring as to this injustice of my captor, I gleaned that I had been abducted! But not for some petty ransom, on the orders of my own father! Despite my best efforts to persuade a freedom from this dastardly dark elf, she prized her honour over my material possessions. My fate seemed grim, but I knew in my heart, that my new family would be hot on the trail.

After many hours of uncomfortable travel, it happened. No sound that I could discern, but I was vaulted into the air! Despite my best efforts to be graceful, I fell sliding across the dirt road. Getting up I found a joyous scene! My friends here to rescue me -- and my would-be abductor restrained to boot.

_[Illustration: Tary-bag flying as the horse buckles, it’s leg a mangled mess]_

_[Grog’s note: the horse went splat!]_

Interrogating this fiend, we magnanimously offered to let her collect my bounty in return for a favour –- to locate the distaste fellow my companions kept referring to; Scaling Shortstuff, I believe his name was. After all, it seemed I had business with my father at hand, she seemed to have some skill -- so we might as well, how do they say it; take two birds in hand! We travelled on, on to my former home: the city of Deastok.

I lead my troupe through the city, showing my usual modesty in regards to the adulations of the peasant folk. But soon, we came upon the manner that had been my child-hood world. Greeted by Berthold, our faithful man… well, dragon-servant… we sternly requested a word with my father -- after dully dispensing with the petty matter of my abductor’s, whom we now knew as K’ryyn, pay.

With my new-found confidence, I extracted the truth from my father, a man I had trusted despite this betrayal. All this time, I had been misled! My family’s fortune was at stake and indebted to nefarious folk. My father had hatched a plot to resolve the issue with my unwitting hand in marriage.

_[Vex’s note: Argh! Did we cash in the IOU first!?]_

Despite his proclamations of the glory I would attain with this union, I knew better. It might not have been the fate I imagined, but I would restore my family’s honour and fortune through the only means I knew -– Adventure! Gleaning as much as we could, we would go to the ruffian’s that threatened my family and, through cunning or might, resolve this predicament!


	16. Plundering the Depths to Raise it again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going into the depths to extract something of true value; a man's word, so that something else might be allowed to rise...

Despite the dire circumstances, the reunion with my sister and mother was tearful. I consoled them, that this dashing adventurer before them would make it right. With that, we travelled with haste to an inn of disrepute with to meet this shady Korshad fellow of the Myriad.

With only minor effort we managed an audience, despite the less than stellar performance of some of my compatriots. We attempted to resolve the issue with tact, force is of last resort of course, but we didn’t quite have the means or possessions to sway the devilish man. But after all these exhausting negotiations, we hit on a compromise, he had a problem with another investment, a mine, that had become unproductive.

_[Illustration: Underground bar’s percussion band with the female goliath dominating the corner]_

_[Grog’s note: She had nice… boots.]_

No-one sent to investigate had returned, but it's value was too great to abandon, despite the supposed infernal infestation. If we could make it safe and root out the evil that prevented its operation, my family would be freed of the binding obligations that had been wrought. This was not just an opportunity, this was fate; all my adventuring lead to this moment: I would be my family’s saviour through my heroic deeds!

With some cursory investigation into our destination, we proceeded hence-forth. Finding the mine proved a simple task but it was late and we made ready for camp. But further investigation revealed a grisly scene. Bodies, picked clean to the bone, laid around the mouth of the mine. Utilising some dark magic, we interrogated one to determine the nature of the problem.

We found that some kind of infestation had taken root, insect-like creatures grown large, normally a minor annoyance had gathered for reasons unknown. But this was nothing but a mere annoyance for such a magnificent group as Vox Machina; we’ve faced down Krakens and demons from the depths of hell – a few bugs would be nothing!

_[Vex’s note: Well, there were dragons, and pit-fiends, and some other things as well -– but you weren’t there for that…]_

But it could wait, wearied from our extensive troubles, we took to the trees to restore ourselves and be ready for whatever nightmare creatures would face us next. Upon waking, we prepared ourselves for the task at hand, dutifully fortified we descended via various means into the hole. Disquieting skittering from the walls did not intimidate us, and soon we drew close to the end of this cavernous hole.

_[Illustration: a withered baby like creature bathed in light. Its mouth, open impossibly wide, as it screams]_

My dear friends hurried to identify the source of this infestation; it seemed some kind of celestial abomination! But it was too late, we were beset by it’s terrifying cries emanating from it's terrible visage. It appeared to be baby bathed in a blinding light but degraded… deformed, clearly the source of the cursed affliction of these lands.

The battle was long and hard, with even the environs’ themselves turned against us. Despite the lava spewing forth and the big guy's valiant effort to beat this baby to a pulp, it seemed not enough. I lunged forth, intending to splatter this cursed creature into oblivion, but it was not be me.

But my efforts inspired my friends, despite the floor erupting in a wall and swallowing Grog and the red-head, a giant of made of earth emerged from the very ground to slam the creature to the ground along with a radiant blast from my gnomish friend –- gravely wounding it. With that, it emitted its last, pitiful revenge blasting forth a blinding light, but I knew it would never be enough to defeat us.

The great visage of a half-elf emerged above the conjured wall and loosed blazing arrows. The arrows entrapped the creature, constricting it with vines, it fell to the ground lifeless. The battle won, it was time to take stock. The earthen monster dug through the ground and freed Grog, I knew enough now, that this was my dear Keyleth using her unique abilities. It seemed that our quest was done, my family saved!

Our escape, though, was marred by the skittering creatures –- ankhegs, I determined later –- still remained, preventing the full completion of contract, at least to the letter of it. We used all our abilities to prevent their emergence but desperate times call for desperate measures. It was time to end this menace to my home-lands!

My little friend, Pike, knew just what to do; using her many talents, she unleashed a firestorm on these annoying creatures before destroying their structure. In retrospect, collapsing the mine might not have been within the intent of the contract but it was certainly not prohibited.

_[Pike’s note: Nothing to say really, but it was pretty bad-ass!]_

With our resounding victory, we returned to Deastok to ensure that Karshad fulfilled his side of the bargain. Despite his attempts to back-pedal he eventually relented and gave me back my rightful claims. I must say, somewhat diminished by dint of my father’s poor choices, but still restored as I had pledged.

I returned to my manor, head held high; the saviour of the Darrington name! Despite the disbelief of my family as to our deeds, I finally convinced them that this terrible ordeal was over. Not just that, despite our unfortunate diminished estate, I vowed to establish the Darrigton Brigade. A force for the good of Wildmount as Vox Machina is for Exandria!

Despite my destiny, manifested now, I could not abandon my companions. With some tearful farewells and instructions, we left my homeland to return to Whitestone so that I might conclude this chapter of my adventure.


	17. Loose Ends and the End of a Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quests of a personal nature, known and unknown, completed; it seems like an end, but new strands surface

Returning to Whitestone, it seemed that we were in desperate need of supplies. Fortuitously, a market had sprung up and we could… as my companions described… shop! But our efforts, not quite as eventful as in Vasselheim -- despite some curious haggling stratagems I was unfamiliar with -– were interpreted by a garguantan… thing, I believe part orc but was never entirely sure.

He beseeched us to help, he had an urgent need of Vox Machina, our troupe, for some –- no doubt, a deadly important -– adventure. My friends, seemingly uninterested, became curiously attentive when he mentioned his employer; the Meat Man. He didn’t sound like a reputable person, but it was apparent this would be the next adventure… and perhaps, my final one with my family… with Vox Machina.

_[Percy’s note: Scanlan’s an ass and Tary’s a nitwit – but I still can’t choose between the two....]_

We followed this strange fellow… Chod I believe his name was… to meet this mysterious Meat Man. The shifty fellow we were taken to immediately raised my hackles. I knew he was untrustworthy, but my companions' seemed to be probing him in ways that made him uncomfortable. But despite his offers of some mysterious knowledge -- that meant more to Percy than my own esteemed self -- they resisted. The unsavoury fellow left indicting defeat, Vex followed, and I sat to ponder this curious turn of events and my own future.

My ruminations were interrupted by a commotion outside, rushing outside we saw the unseemly fellow and Vex facing off. There were some strange words exchanged by all present about the aforementioned; Scallops fellow. I gathered that this… Aes fellow was more than he seemed. Turning the corner, I saw the curious sight of Vex and a small gnomish fellow in a half-embrace. This seemed to disturb my companions, but his employee Chod seem most distressed.

Some kind words were exchanged, then some less kind words were said, it seemed this gnomish charlatan had important information. Important enough to risk the wrath of my own troupe, to attempt deceive the grand Vox Machina meant serious business and I knew that greater things were at stake.

Guarded, we accepted this information and we withdraw to determine our next move. With an amusing diversion involving a game of Boulders, Shears and Parchment and an arousing dance, we determined that we must go journey onto, Ank’harel in Marquet, perhaps a fitting end to this journey where it all began. Hesitant, I knew my duties to my homelands were pressing, I agreed -– If this was to be last hurray, my parting tribute to my new family… to my part in Vox Machina -- then it would be the best one yet!

_[Illustration: Grog with Chod shimmering against him]_

Returning to Ank’harel reminded me of the foolish fellow I was – not the hardened, grizzled adventurer I had become. With a few diversions for supplies and messages –- we, Vox Machina, had many responsibilities after all -– we preceded to this mysterious construction buried deep in the desert. Aided by our new big, but duck-affiliated, friend we found information, from the most unexpected source -– from my most dastardly foe; the sand duck—and found our way to our destination.

_[Percy’s note: Ducks… ducks… words cannot describe…]_

Vox Machina’s finest machinations and abilities became apparent again as our disturbingly circular method of reason reared its head. But eventually we found a method of entry, not without some misadventure, but we were inside! Slipping through the various traps and hostile entities we made our way to a cross-roads, it was time to decide our final course of action!

But it was not so, se we had to retire to the little imps' apparition and it's meagre offerings. After the affronting meal, I retired to my lodgings, seemingly assembled from gymnastic mats and other assorted materials, within the base of this establishment.

The hearty breakfast I had become to expect was not to be, replaced with salads of a multitude that I could never have imagined. Fortuitously interrupted by the sound of cracking bones. It seems that my fellow adventurers had leapt into the fray before me. It seemed over an instant, as I rushed to assist there was nothing but piles of bones and my friends – and Chod – brandishing weapons. It must have been a glorious battle that I could only wish to have been a-party to.

_[Percy’s note: For the record, it should be noted that Taryon was asleep for all this]_

Despite the rigours of battle we gained some worthwhile booty, trifles and a magical entrapment device; I gifted it to Percy whom named it Manners for reasons only known to him. Despite some other mis-steps from my companions, we pressed on forward.

It was just a small journey before we encountered a cavernous environ, containing only a strange structure capped with by an orb of the blackest night. But entering the room, It seemed we had alerted these fiendish foes… not just foes, the one nearest the orb seemed to be known to my companions – Dealiah Blackwood. The fury they felt for her could only be met by my resolve to end her the attendant satisfaction of finally ending her -- for them.

_[Percy’s note: Her name’s Delilah Briarwood… she is not a… good person…]_

The epic battle was upon us, with our designated foe encompassing herself with a prismatic sphere. But our efforts seemed in vain, doing little damage to those that remained outside. Through fortunate efforts of our new companion, Squelon, we avoided a devastating attack – but not without sacrifice, my faithful and shiny new companion, Doty 2.0, feel before us. He became a rallying cry for us, to avenge his memory!

But it was not to be a battle between equals, but a matter of dice, whittling away at inferior foes faced with our fearsome visages. The aforementioned prime foe had disappeared into the mysterious orb at the first sign of trouble, to the consternation of my friends. I was torn, things were afoot, but how could I assist without my Doty? More so, I had pledged myself to saving Whitemount and to extoll the tales of Vox Machina…

But I knew this was the end; with Doty 2.0 in dire need and my friends… my family less so. Despite my mistrust of the short, devious fellow –- I knew they trusted him, and I so I must too. I took my leave, availing myself of the awkward orc-ish barbarian for logistical purposes (despite my prowess, I couldn’t be expected to carry my Doty). As we left, I thought, perhaps it was the best – a duck-speaker might prevent the tragedy that led me to meet Vox Machina in the first place…

_[Illustration: Chod dragging Doty over one shoulder, led by Tary as a few ‘sand’-ducks trail at Chod’s feet]_


	18. The List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An adventurer's most important quality, their list of achievements

Preface: I present my dear reader, my adventuring credentials, at the conclusion of this exciting escapade. I think they speak for themselves and my status as a Heroic Adventurer!

  1. ~~Rescue a damsel in distress~~
  2. ~~Fight a dragon~~ [Percy's note: touching is not fighting...]
  3. ~~Fight a beholder~~
  4. ~~Fight a monstrosity or other impossibly large creature~~
  5. ~~Sail the seas and fight pirates~~
  6. ~~Perform a task for ne'er do well~~
  7. ~~Encounter a fey, mer, or were creature/person~~
  8. ~~Lead a rag-tag bunch of misfits to victory~~
  9. ~~Assist a noble in their quest for their rightful place~~ [Keyleth's note: Well assist might be a strong word but you certainly did help... I think.] ~~~~
  10. ~~Through cunning and guile discover the hidden flaw to defeat an opponent~~ [Vex's note: I can't even... what does he mean!?] ~~~~
  11. ~~Partake in carousing and joyous side of adventure~~
  12. ~~Woo a maiden with my heroic feats~~ [Grog's note: I don't think being dragged off counts... And I won the bet.] ~~~~
  13. ~~Procure a secret base of operation~~ [Vex's note: Hey that's ours, we had it before you even came along.... And, it's not really a secret -- but that would be kind of cool.] ~~~~
  14. ~~Master the art deception via disguise or conceit~~
  15. ~~Make the ultimate sacrifice~~ [Vax's note: What, are talking about my death? How is that your ultimate sacrifice?] 
  16. ~~Make a deal with a devil~~
  17. ~~Defeat an infernal demon~~
  18. ~~Match wits and deeds with a being of celestial power~~




	19. Postscript

Taryon Darrington will return in…

The Darrington Brigade: Saviours of Whitemount!

[Pike’s note: May the Gods forgive us for this…]

[Grog’s note: Less words, more pictures of smashing!]

[Keyleth’s note: Well… I suppose… that stuff did happen, right?]

[Vax’s note: It could have been so much worse…]

[Vex’s note: Meh, I… we, get a 10% cut no matter what]

[Percy’s note: While appreciating the inherit value of books and knowledge, I’m not sure this is counts as either of those things]

[Scanlan’s note: A rip-roaring tale for sure, worthy of performance. But, I fear, not even Grog enlarged form is tall enough to tell it]

**Author's Note:**

> Dedications:
> 
> Geek and Sundry – For all the joy and support of the alternative shows they have brought us  
> Crtranscripts – For allowing me to avoid having to rewatch ~50 hours of footage to write this  
> Critters – For the love and support of this epic show, whose appreciation gives me the drive to write this  
> Talks Machina – For reminding us of the community’s spirit and the humanity of our beloved actors
> 
> And
> 
> Critical role – It might be a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors playing dungeons and dragons but it has brought joy and solace to so many, myself included.


End file.
